Boundaries

I've been going through a lot of emotional turmoil lately and was told by a few people that I need to set up boundaries. Here is a very good article about boundaries. I am not good at this. For one thing, I don't really like conflict and I know if I suddenly start setting up boundaries, I'm going to be facing a lot of conflict. After all, I've spent nearly 33 years doing whatever everyone else wanted me to do.

For another thing, I have to have a clear idea of what my boundaries are. This is difficult because I am a people pleaser so I want everyone to be happy and I've been willing in the past to do things I absolutely did not want to do just to make someone else happy.

I told Rosemary today (yes, I know you don't know who Rosemary is, don't worry about it) that everyone wants me for something. My clients want me. My children want me. My husband wants me. My educators want me. My teen group wants me. Rosemary said somewhere in there I've lost myself. That's exactly how I feel. Lost.

So it's boundary time I guess. I am not looking forward to this at all.

Velda

I don't know how this happened but my dear friend Velda has been diagnosed with brain cancer. I can't help but think, WTH? How does that work? Why don't bad people get brain cancer and decent, sweet, loyal friends live long and prosper?

Velda, if you read this, I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I'd like to make another trip up to see you. I'm sorry it's been so long since my last visit and I'm even sorrier that it took something as crappy as this to get my butt in gear. I love you, and I'm praying for you.

Gentle reader, if you are a member of facebook, please consider joining this group, Angels on Your Shoulder and helping out if you can.

I was looking for something to post today

And lurking on Megan's blog, trying to catch up a little with what my friends have been doing while I've been not here. Anyway she had this posted a little while back and it looked like a good way to fill today's post ;) BTW, go check out Megan's photography. She's amazing.

So who reads my blog??

1. As a comment on this post, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember! And if we've never met in real life, leave me a comment of your favorite post I wrote and why it was your favorite.

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually really funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

Disney In November (days 1 and 2)

Yes, we're in Disney again. This time on our dime. We drove down to Florida on Turkey day, spent the night in Daytona Beach and then scooted on over to Disney. The ride wasn't bad at all. The kids kept pretty entertained and there was minimal traffic.

Here's where we stayed in Daytona. It was literally right on the beach.



MD and I went for a walk first thing in the morning. Her daughter A went jogging and then S3 and his bud C went for a swim in their shorts. The air was cool but the water was very warm.







We went to Epcot around lunch time and I think we managed to do all the rides in one half of the park. My feet sure think we did anyway.

Finding Nemo



Mickey plays peek-a-boo with Ty at the Garden Grill.





Today we headed to the Magic Kingdom where we rode nearly every ride there. Seriously. We kept hitting the lines just right so while we had to wait, it was never too long. E fell asleep on the bus ride back to the hotel. Random pics from today:









When we rode "It's a Small World" I tried to get a quick picture of Steve and the girls. Apparently Steve had other plans because it took us three tries before he stopped fooling around long enough to get a nice pic.







Ok, last picture for tonight; I'm beat. Sorry the quality is bad. It's from my phone. I think I'll probably be back to blog again on Monday. Good night!!!

Dear Canadian Friends,

Have you ever wondered what those of us in Pennsylvania think about Canadians? Well you know I think the milk in a bag thing is, um... interesting... but if you were curious about what other Pennsylvanians think click here.

And before some random person comes reading my blog and gets their panties in a twist, the milk thing is an inside joke with my Canadaian friends.

Murder Anyone?

Steve and I have hosted numerous Murder Mystery Parties over the years - usually about one every other year - but it's been probably close to three or more years since our last one. Recently one of our regular party invitees was asking me when we'd be having another and has put me in the mood for murder.

I think I've officially talked Steve into refinishing our living room and dining room floors and once that's done Ed will deliver our new dining room furniture and once that's done.... someone will die.

I'm thinking of buying this murder: Honky Tonk Homicide

A “Texas Style” MURDER MYSTERY DINNER GAME

You lucky redneck! You are about to play a “Texas Style” murder mystery dinner party game!

It is “last call” for someone at Bubba’s Bar in Cactus, Texas… A nasty murder investigation sure can disrupt Karaoke Night, especially when everyone in town is a suspect. The residents of the Cactus Court Trailer Park must find the murderer among them. For a small Texas town, Cactus has plenty of dirty secrets, double lives, torrid affairs and alien abductions!

This is a one of a kind party your friends won’t forget! Treat your guests to our fabulous Trailer Park and Texas Favorites recipes! Find out who picks up the tab for this Honky Tonk Homicide!

THE SUSPECTS:

SHERIFF SISSY WESSON –She is as beautiful as she is treacherous.

CARNEY FOLK-A sleazy carnival worker just passing through town.

ROWDY LAWLESS-A member of the feared “Angels of Hades” biker gang.

REVERREND JIM BOB ETERNITY-A fire and brimstone TV preacher.

MARY KAY ETERNITY-Reverend Jim Bob’s wife and TV sidekick.

DUSTY DIAMOND-A hometown boy who dreams of musical stardom

TWYLA FLEETWOOD- Bingo addict and owner of the Cactus Court Trailer Park.

CRYSTALLINE DANIELS-A barmaid at “Bubba’s Bar” and the town tramp.

EXTRA GUESTS/NON-SUSPECTS:

VIRGIL ROSWELL-An oilfield worker and alien abductee.

HENNA BOUFFANT-Beauty shop owner and the town gossip hound.

The last time I had a party my friend Md was a lady of the evening. When I told her I was thinking about another party she said she was game but I had to promise not to make her the prostitute this time. I made myself laugh out loud thinking about her reaction to being given the part of "Crystalline Daniels."

Now I have to start thinking about the menu. I was leaning toward BBQ but I'd either have to buy it pre-packaged or I'd have to find a restaurant that would make it as take-out because I was reading a blog about making BBQ from scratch and there's no way I'd ever have the patience to do all that. I'm waaaaaay too lazy. Although now that I'm typing this it popped in my head that we have a Smokey Bones close by. I'll bet they have a curb-side take-out thing going on. Or I could do Tex-Mex. That gives me more options for having courses. And I happen to know from first hand experience that my BIL has a great recipe for Rice n'Beans.

I'm going to have to borrow some country music cds from my in laws. Maybe get a red checkered table cloth. Hmmm. Lots to think about. I love this part of the party planning. The hardest part will be limiting my guest list to four other couples. *sigh*

Busy, Busy, Busy

I ran home from work, caught an hour nap on the couch and then ran out to the school for G's 2nd grade chapel program. Every year each class takes one of the chapel programs that they have every Wednesday and they perform a little skit. The first year that S3 was in one I went thinking it was just a little thing. It is a big deal. They put costumes on and do a little play. They prepare for it for months and months. They memorize lines. They have a reception afterward.

I slept through it.

I know, I know, I get worst mom of the year award. G didn't know what time it started and I asked the boys who have both been attending chapel every Wednesday for years and years and they told me ten. I got there at nine thirty and it was over. Fortunately G was getting so much attention over her hot pink cast that she didn't seem to really care that much.


After that I ran home, grabbed a shower and then E and I scooted over to a diner to meet Phil and his family for lunch. I know I mentioned Phil in another post about books but I don't believe that I mentioned that his lovely wife just gave birth to their second daughter. I was beyond honored that they took the time to visit just so I could hold the baby. She is so precious! Before I went I told Steve that either I needed to hold this baby or he was going to have to buy me a cat. E will be five this year. In thirteen years this is the longest amount of time that I've gone without being pregnant or having a baby myself. I think the plan backfired. That baby is so tiny and lovable (you should have seen the teeny diapers!). I couldn't talk Tiffany and the baby into coming home to live with me so I guess I'll be looking for a cat.

I had to cut that visit shorter than I would have liked because I had to run Ty to the doctor's office. He has been home from school for the whole week mostly with complaints of a headache. I needed to get an excuse note from the doc since he's been out longer than three days and it turns out the poor kid has strep throat. So one more day home from school and a little amoxicillin and he'll be good as new. I just can't figure out why he'd have a headache but not a sore throat.

After that I was supposed to meet up with some girls from work for dinner and a drink (and to pick up men but I was planning on skipping that part) but I ended up passing out and sleeping like the dead for the rest of the night. When I got up today I had a message on my phone from one of the girls saying they were all beat too and going to make it another night.

I think I saw Steve yesterday. I waved to him when we passed on the road when I was coming home from and he was going to work. I must need to slow down.

The Best Birthday Ever

Sometimes I think G gets lost in the shuffle, being number three out of four kids and so I wanted to make sure her birthday was as fantastic as she'd been imagining it would be. On her actual birthday she wanted a cake to take to school with her picture on it.













After school I took her to a pottery painting place which ended up being a total trip. The owner of the shop didn't acknowledge us when we walked in the door and when she finally did ask if we were there to paint and we said yes, she just waved her hand and said, "Go ahead." I had to ask her what specifically we were supposed to do as we'd never been there before. Ty had a couple of really good questions about the whole process and even though he stood next to her when he asked the questions, she completely ignored him. While we were painting she was talking to a guy about business being slow and barely making the rent and I could only think, "Gee I wonder why." (Insert sarcasm here) But we didn't let it ruin our fun and Grace painted a fantastic little mermaid. They've finished firing it and I'm going to go pick it up tomorrow.

She wanted ribs for dinner so my in-laws drove up and we met them at TGIFriday's for dinner where G had two orders of ribs. On the ride home she moaned that her tummy hurt. I guess so!

The next day we got a phone call from G's friend V. Her family had gotten their hands on some last minute tickets to see Monsters, Inc. On Ice and wanted to know if G could go along with them. I sent her with $40 - twenty for dinner and twenty for some sort of souvenir. She came home with $4 change and told me for dinner she'd had cotton candy, icees, popcorn, Sprite...



Then we planned her birthday party for today. She is always fascinated when I have my toenails done and since last summer she's said she wanted to have a pedicure for her birthday. We invited two girls from her class (V and C) to come to the mall with us and have a pedicure party. I realized afterward that they were like Charlie's Angels or something - blonde, redhead and brunette. I know there are a ton of pictures but they were just so cute and the people in the nail salon were so tickled to have them there that I went a little camera mad.

That scrub they do on your feet really does tickle a LOT!

I thought this was so cute! What typical girls, having themselves a little goss.

C knew exactly what she wanted done to her toes and she was not shy about it.

They were all ready for the bathroom by the time it came to getting their nails dried. I had to do a lot of talking and picture taking to get them to sit there LOL!

The guy who did their toes was so into this birthday party thing. He posed them for this picture.

They held hands all the way to the upstairs food court and jumped over all the dark tiles.

They were starved and Steve was asking them if they wanted just one fry or one chicken nugget. They were telling him that they wanted one of everything on the menu.

Gift time! Both her friends must know her well because she got crafty stuff and makeup.

I put together a little foam craft kit for them to make and fill with their goodies. I had a foam magic princess wand kit for each of them but we ran out of time. Who knew four hours wouldn't be enough?

I wanted them to pose for this cute picture but...

They wanted to pose for this picture.

Holiday Party

Here's another thing I can share with you now that we know that Steve will be staying with his current employer... This year marks his tenth year of employment. The HR director called me a month ago and asked me what Steve would like for his ten-year gift. She gave me a dollar amount and told me it was supposed to be a surprise. Well there's no way I'm going to pick out his ten-year gift without his input so together we decided on a cantered hutch for our dining room made by our friends, the D's. They own a furniture store in a nearby town. We helped them in very little ways when they got started several years ago as friends are wont to do. Ed has said that he'd like to give us a dining room set as a thank you but Steve and I were never really very comfortable accepting such a lavish gift. As it turns out when we ordered the cantered hutch, Ed happened to have a return on a table. He is insistent that we accept the table and four chairs (we'll have to order a couple more to fit our family) and he's finishing my cantered hutch to match the table and chairs. So in a round-about way we're getting a whole brand-new dining room set! Now I'm trying to talk Steve into restoring our floors while all the furniture is out. At the very least I've talked him into redecorating the downstairs rooms.

What does all this have to do with the Holiday Party? Well that's when they'll present Steve with his "surprise." It's a fun party with good food and a DJ and I get all dolled up. Unfortunately we didn't know what his employment status was going to be so I did agree to work the weekend of the party but I'm going to see if I can get that night off and if not we'll at least go for the dinner part. He doesn't really like to dance anyway.

I did get a dress today. Steve drove so he could give me his opinion and I took four dresses with me into the dressing room. The first one I tried on was acceptable but not fantastic. The second dress, he wasn't crazy about the stuff at the bottom but when I put on the third and stepped out of the dressing room his eyes lit up. He really liked the third dress and when I said I was going to try on the fourth he said, "Don't bother." It's nice to be able to make your husband's eyes light up like that.

Now That Christmas Is Over

Remember our live tree expedition that we take every year with our friends? This year we went further out into the tree farm so we ended up taking the wagon out and back. We picked our tree to fit in a tall and narrow space, chopped it down and gave it to the guy on the wagon. He affixed a number to the tree and gave us the other half of the ticket with our number on it. Our friends did the same thing and then we all went and had hot cocoa.

So last night we were over at their house to have our one last Christmas gathering - lasagna, fondue and gift exchange - and Md was saying how she was going to take the tree down today but had decided to leave it up since we were all coming over. That's when Ed chimed in that he thought maybe they had our tree.

We started really looking at the tree. It was much thinner than they usually pick out and Ed said when they brought it in the tree was scraping along the ceiling. He and his daughter Alli were looking at each other wondering how they'd managed to pick a tree that was too tall for their house. When they said that, Steve and I started laughing. He had set our tree up the day after we'd bought it and when he'd cut the strings and the tree popped open, he and I were thinking our tree was much, much fatter than it looked when it was out at the tree farm.

Since we both turned our trees in one after the other, we think we didn't look closely enough at the numbers on our tickets when we picked the trees up.

Carded

I have "Please ask for Photo ID" on the back of my credit card to help prevent from theft. Most people in the store don't even ask but it gives me some false sense of security. Recently we went out to dinner with some friends and I paid the bill with my card. The waiter came back to my table and asked to see my photo id. I have never, ever, ever had a restaurant ask for my photo ID and I thought it was kinda funny.

So as I hand my ID over to him I joke, "Hey you didn't even ask me for my ID when I ordered wine."

His reply, "Oh you're obviously not 21."

Ha. There goes your tip.

Amy the Pampered Chef Lady

My friend Amy is the hardest working, most dedicated mother I have ever met. She does all these amazing things, she is an excellent cook, she sells Pampered Chef so she can stay home and she constantly volunteers her time at school and church. The one thing I think Amy does not do is take enough care of herself. She is so busy caring for the rest of us (I have frequently said I'd be lost without her!) that she never takes the time for Amy. She doesn't buy herself treats and she doesn't go out just for fun without her kids. I found these cute little cooking charms the other day and when I saw her at school running the Christmas shop for the kids and looking like she could happily pull her own hair out - who wouldn't look that way with 3,000,000 kids trying to pick out Christmas gifts - and I knew she just had to have them.

I know I didn't express my feelings to her well enough when I gave her the bracelet the other night because I was so worried about whether or not she'd actually like the bracelet and I was glad to see that she was really excited about it. Here's a closeup of the cooking charms:

Phew!

Wow, I suddenly and surprisingly became very busy these last few days. It's amazing how these things pop up so quickly. Tuesday was the last day I posted. Wednesday morning I drove to KOP to meet a friend who had flown in from Ohio for a business meeting. She and I had breakfast at the Corner Bakery (and I burned the stink out of my tongue!) but wow was it expensive! On the way home I stopped at a couple of stores including the grocery store to pick up a few things I'd been needing when my phone rang. Nancy, the scheduler at work had a call off and asked me to pick up that night.

When Steve is gone typically I don't like to work. It's just hard on me and the kids to schlepp all our things for bed and school and etc all the way to someone else's house and then all the way back home the next morning, not to mention the imposition on that person. Four kids tends to make a large crowd but it comes down to money doesn't it? When I am called in at the last minute like that I am paid extra for the inconvenience. So I figured if my parents were available to babysit I'd do it and if they weren't then that was a good reason to say no. They were ready, willing and able so I agreed to pick up even though I'd been up since 5:00 AM to be able to get to KOP and my friend that morning. It was a looooong night, let me tell you. I have some stories about work I could tell, oh my!

Anyway after all that it took me most of the day Thursday just to recover. I think I could have slept for the rest of the week, I was that tired. We had the craziest dinner Thursday night because I didn't have the energy to plan anything so the kids ended up eating BBQ chicken wings with garlic bread.

So here it is, TGIFriday. Steve is home but he and S3 are going to a 76ers game tonight with some friends. Saturday T has a candy making party for his Sunday school class and then a pool party for a kid on his soccer team. G is going to Lancaster for a Build-A-Bear party. I promised S3 I'd take him to GameStop to trade in some PS2 games and then after that I think I can breathe again.

Phew!

Olympic Weekend

We had a crazy sports weekend, running from one athletic event to the next. Friends of ours have a superstar daughter who plays volleyball, basketball, soccer, track, etc. This weekend she had a volleyball tournament so we ran to Harrisburg to watch her play. Then Sunday both Ty and G had soccer games. I think we were just about blown to pieces during the games. I have some video of the girls that I need to edit yet but in the mean time, enjoy these pics.

And my personal favorite shot from the weekend....
"Winnie the Pooh as Goalkeep"

P.S. The cute little brunette is my niece Eeyore (a.k.a Winnie the Pooh the Goalkeep).

Who gave me this link???

This is insane. Someone (I think it was Velda) linked me to an online riddle. I'm consumed.

Click. Obsess.