Let's Cut to the Chase

Last night there was about an hour's gap of time between when Steve left for work and when I arrived home to find GG freaking out. She and S3 had been fighting again. I thought I'd calmed the situation so I went upstairs to shower. I didn't even have the water turned on when GG pounded on the door freaking out about S3 again. I told her just to avoid him until I finished my shower and I'd deal with everyone then.

About twenty minutes later, I had everyone turn off the computers, play stations, and television and gather in the living room. Ty told me his version of events, S3 & Ev concurred and GG added a little more detail, but pretty much everyone told the same story.

For the next half hour or so, Ty, S3, GG and I discussed how things could have been done differently to avoid the arguing and crying and finally everyone was calm so I dismissed them all from the "meeting." Ev turns to me and says, "So basically I didn't really need to be here."

Boundaries

I've been going through a lot of emotional turmoil lately and was told by a few people that I need to set up boundaries. Here is a very good article about boundaries. I am not good at this. For one thing, I don't really like conflict and I know if I suddenly start setting up boundaries, I'm going to be facing a lot of conflict. After all, I've spent nearly 33 years doing whatever everyone else wanted me to do.

For another thing, I have to have a clear idea of what my boundaries are. This is difficult because I am a people pleaser so I want everyone to be happy and I've been willing in the past to do things I absolutely did not want to do just to make someone else happy.

I told Rosemary today (yes, I know you don't know who Rosemary is, don't worry about it) that everyone wants me for something. My clients want me. My children want me. My husband wants me. My educators want me. My teen group wants me. Rosemary said somewhere in there I've lost myself. That's exactly how I feel. Lost.

So it's boundary time I guess. I am not looking forward to this at all.

Velda

I don't know how this happened but my dear friend Velda has been diagnosed with brain cancer. I can't help but think, WTH? How does that work? Why don't bad people get brain cancer and decent, sweet, loyal friends live long and prosper?

Velda, if you read this, I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I'd like to make another trip up to see you. I'm sorry it's been so long since my last visit and I'm even sorrier that it took something as crappy as this to get my butt in gear. I love you, and I'm praying for you.

Gentle reader, if you are a member of facebook, please consider joining this group, Angels on Your Shoulder and helping out if you can.