Thursday, October 08, 2009

Boundaries

I've been going through a lot of emotional turmoil lately and was told by a few people that I need to set up boundaries. Here is a very good article about boundaries. I am not good at this. For one thing, I don't really like conflict and I know if I suddenly start setting up boundaries, I'm going to be facing a lot of conflict. After all, I've spent nearly 33 years doing whatever everyone else wanted me to do.

For another thing, I have to have a clear idea of what my boundaries are. This is difficult because I am a people pleaser so I want everyone to be happy and I've been willing in the past to do things I absolutely did not want to do just to make someone else happy.

I told Rosemary today (yes, I know you don't know who Rosemary is, don't worry about it) that everyone wants me for something. My clients want me. My children want me. My husband wants me. My educators want me. My teen group wants me. Rosemary said somewhere in there I've lost myself. That's exactly how I feel. Lost.

So it's boundary time I guess. I am not looking forward to this at all.

2 comments:

MiPa said...

Finding your boundaries may not be much fun (it really wasn't for me), but it makes life so much more pleasant in the long run. I'll be praying for you as you establish some guidelines for not losing yourself.

~Tammy said...

I can relate 110%. I will give and give until there is nothing left and that is okay for me to do for some people some of the time, but not always and not for all people. It is when you've given more of yourself than you really have and it's not acknowledged or appreciated that it's too much, at least for me anyway.

The growing pains you will experience in setting these boundaries will be painful, but for your peace of mind, well worth it in the end.

Take care!

Big hugs!