English Composition is a Dried-Up Vagina Party

Seriously, I'll bet you didn't know that did you?

My class was online and last night we had our last group chat for this group project that's due tomorrow. I don't know how this kid managed it, but he stumbled right into our chat. At first we just ignored him and he made stupid comments here and there, trying to be insulting I'm sure but I thought it was just moronically funny.

Finally he said, "So what grade are you all in?" and I laughed again. I said, "Honey, I'm 32, I have four kids and a mortgage." The rest of the group chimed in... there was a 30 year old but the others were 18/19 years old. Turns out this kid is 16 (for which I replied that my son is nearly fifteen so this guy might as well be in a chat room with his mother).

He then informed us it was like he was in a party for "dried up vag." I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time. What started out as a fairly boring chat about editing our final paper turned into a dried up vagina party.

So Isaac, wherever you are, whoever you are, thank you. That was the only thing from that entire class that I enjoyed.

Something Else I Love

So in chemistry, our last homevurks (my prof is German and has the best accent!) involved Lewis Dot Structures. I had to do one for HOCl and I was pretty sure I had it right but I wanted to double check. So I Googled it. Seriously, someone else out there drew a Lewis Dot Structure for HOCl and posted it on the web. How weird/cool is that?

Oh and btw, I had it right.

Catch a Fire

Ok so for this online composition class I'm taking, the prof had this cartoon pirate that speaks with his voice. We're supposed to be editing and adding to our student pages and he suggested that might be something we could add. I fooled around with it for a bit and then realized I'd probably have to give it my voice. Well I hate the way my voice sounds when it's recorded. Vain, I know. So I trimmed a TobyMac song called WhoopsiDasy (CatchaFire) and the results are hysterical. Watch:




Get a Voki now!

BTW, thank you for the happy greetings in my last post. I missed you guys too. I'll tell you all about it sometime soon but basically I figured this'd be the last summer I'd have free for quite a few years so I decided to travel. And boy did I travel. Beckham bunny is doing great; time to trim him again soon. Hopefully I did a better job of taking care of his hair so Melanie will be able to use it for spinning.

Desperate for Help

S3 has a science fair project due next week. Of course he waited until the last possible second to work on it. His theory is: Which Wrigley's Gum Flavor Lasts The Longest?

Here's what I need help with (if you're willing). Wrigley's makes five flavors, Doublemint, Spearmint, Winterfresh, Big Red and Juicy Fruit. Can you please buy a pack of gum and chew a piece and time how long the flavor lasts? If you can talk your family into it, can you get your family to chew too? Even better would be if you'd be willing to chew all five flavors but I know that's asking a lot.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Sorry to interrupt the vacation post but I have important and very exciting news. I just received a phone call from Millersville University. They have accepted me into their Pre-Medicine program.

Proud Mama Moment

I think it was before school started last year when Steve took G to get her back -to -school hair cut and she saw a young girl getting her hair cut off to donate to Locks of Love. Since that day, G has told me she wanted to grow her hair long in order to also be able to donate her hair. I thought that was so touching and I was amazed by her generous heart so I told her I would start to grow my hair and donate it along with her. Yesterday we went to the hairdresser and had them cut away ten inches of ponytail on both of us.

Hello Summer

Sorry I've been MIA for a while. We've been busy with soccer, baseball and summer! On Memorial Day S3 ended up marching in a parade with the American Legion which was pretty cool.

Waiting for the parade to start:

Here they come:

School let out at the end of May and besides all the sports, we've been hanging out with Beckham, gardening (pics of both coming soon) and swimming at the pool. The water is freezing and I don't how the kids can stand it but they do.

Look at the look of pure evil on S3's face. Splashing his brother.

KCEAA Jr. High Competition

I emailed my family but I totally forgot to blog this event... S3 participated in both the choir and the hand bells for the KCEAA Jr. High Competition last week. His school took first place in both events. I'm not surprised. They have an amazing new music director and even though I usually dread the different concerts, this time I found myself curious to hear what this guy would come up with next.

Check out my boy in his tux. The girl with him is my friend Amy the Pampered Chef Lady's daughter.

Below are two minute clips of the four songs they performed. I don't remember the names of all of them but one they sang was Amazing Grace. S3 was all excited for me to come listen because during a section of the song, they sing a cappella and he thought it sounded really cool.

Personally I was most impressed with the handbells. I was at the completely wrong angle to see S3 but he's on the right hand corner of the "U"




Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos

Uniforms, Laundry and Prepubescence

G came downstairs in her bathrobe this morning looking for clean clothes in the laundry. I do the wash on Mondays so the only clothes in the laundry right now are dirty. I said to Steve as she passed, "I wonder what she thinks she's going to find down there?" Sure enough a few minutes later she came up with her hands empty and in a very snotty tone of voice she said, "I don't have any clean uniforms because you didn't do the wash!"

Now I know for a fact:
(1) I have been doing laundry every Monday for the past six months or more.
(2) She has enough uniforms to last her nearly three weeks without me doing the laundry.

For her to say that she has zero clean uniforms because I didn't do the wash yet means she either hasn't been bringing me her dirty uniforms to be washed or she can't find where she put all the rest of her clean uniforms. But the tone of voice she used with me... I told Steve he needed to deal with her. He didn't handle her quite the way I wanted him to handle her so I went upstairs and I pulled open her drawer. It was stuffed with clean uniforms. I pulled one out and I told her to put it on and I came back downstairs. About ten minutes later she followed, wearing the uniform and bawling her eyes out. The uniform I picked out is brown and nobody in her class likes the brown uniforms. She and another girl have a contest to see who can be the prettiest every week and now she's going to lose because she looks awful.

I had to leave the room. I don't want her to feel bad about the way she looks and if she'd approached me in a different way, I'd have done whatever I could to make sure she had a blue uniform to wear but I'm not going to tolerate this finger-pointing, you-never-do-anything-for-me attitude. I told her I'm not doing her wash this week. She can do it herself or she can wear the brown uniforms in her drawer.

So much for school uniforms taking the drama out of getting dressed in the morning.

That Apple Sure Didn't Fall Far

Tonight S3 handed me a paper he'd had to write for his comp. class about our family's Christmas traditions. He wrote a really nice little essay about waking up and having a fantastic breakfast at a beautifully decorated table before opening gifts and then traveling on to grandparents' homes to continue the festivities. He wrote it in such a way that it sounds magical, wonderful and oh so very Martha Stewart-ish. It's all made up.

I asked him if it was supposed to be a story or if it was supposed to be factual. He said, "Well the teacher said it's supposed to be our real traditions but how is she going to know?"

That's my boy!

The Way In the Wilderness

Ty had his fourth grade Chapel program today and I managed to not sleep through it this time (poor Grace). They did a little skit of Moses being placed in the Nile as a baby and then they did a second skit of Moses after he'd led the Israelites out of Egypt. Ty was in the second skit as an Israelite. I did film the entire second skit and it is available to watch - all seven minutes of it - on YouTube.com and it is rather funny at times but I clipped just a small piece of it for you guys.

First a couple of pictures. The pillar of fire was awesome; it glowed from within. Ty is off to the far right.



Afterward I took a pic of Ty (left) and two of his buddies. When I looked closer at the pic I had to laugh at the kid in the background beating the papier-mâché rock the minute the show was over.



Ok, ok so here's the video.

Kindergarten

It's official, she's all signed up. We requested and managed to get afternoon kindy for baby-pukes-alot.

Now I think I need a tranquilizer. I can't believe my very last baby is going to kindergarten.

Prize Winning Artist

Ty entered two drawings into the Elementary Fine Arts competition under the category Art: Monochromatic and he won both first and second place! I am so proud of him!

The tree frog is the first place winner. He started drawing it a couple of weeks ago and originally intended to draw two other frogs with it but he became ill and wasn't able to finish the other two.

The dolphin took second place and it was one he drew quickly last night when we realized the artwork was due today!

Busy, Busy, Busy

I ran home from work, caught an hour nap on the couch and then ran out to the school for G's 2nd grade chapel program. Every year each class takes one of the chapel programs that they have every Wednesday and they perform a little skit. The first year that S3 was in one I went thinking it was just a little thing. It is a big deal. They put costumes on and do a little play. They prepare for it for months and months. They memorize lines. They have a reception afterward.

I slept through it.

I know, I know, I get worst mom of the year award. G didn't know what time it started and I asked the boys who have both been attending chapel every Wednesday for years and years and they told me ten. I got there at nine thirty and it was over. Fortunately G was getting so much attention over her hot pink cast that she didn't seem to really care that much.


After that I ran home, grabbed a shower and then E and I scooted over to a diner to meet Phil and his family for lunch. I know I mentioned Phil in another post about books but I don't believe that I mentioned that his lovely wife just gave birth to their second daughter. I was beyond honored that they took the time to visit just so I could hold the baby. She is so precious! Before I went I told Steve that either I needed to hold this baby or he was going to have to buy me a cat. E will be five this year. In thirteen years this is the longest amount of time that I've gone without being pregnant or having a baby myself. I think the plan backfired. That baby is so tiny and lovable (you should have seen the teeny diapers!). I couldn't talk Tiffany and the baby into coming home to live with me so I guess I'll be looking for a cat.

I had to cut that visit shorter than I would have liked because I had to run Ty to the doctor's office. He has been home from school for the whole week mostly with complaints of a headache. I needed to get an excuse note from the doc since he's been out longer than three days and it turns out the poor kid has strep throat. So one more day home from school and a little amoxicillin and he'll be good as new. I just can't figure out why he'd have a headache but not a sore throat.

After that I was supposed to meet up with some girls from work for dinner and a drink (and to pick up men but I was planning on skipping that part) but I ended up passing out and sleeping like the dead for the rest of the night. When I got up today I had a message on my phone from one of the girls saying they were all beat too and going to make it another night.

I think I saw Steve yesterday. I waved to him when we passed on the road when I was coming home from and he was going to work. I must need to slow down.

Presidents' Day Trivia

And you were wondering why you didn't get mail today, weren't you?

I came across an interesting piece of trivia while I was researching my, er... I mean Ty's fourth grade president report on Martin Van Buren and I thought today would be a good day to share it with you.

"Van Buren was from Kinderhook, New York, sometimes referred to as Old Kinderhook in speeches and print. O.K. Clubs soon formed to support Van Buren's campaign. "O.K." later came to mean all right."

Happy Presidents' Day!

Retro Day

The kids' school had a "Spirit Week" two weeks ago (it's taken me forever to upload pics from my camera). Every day had a different theme such as Hobo Day, Color Day, and Retro Day. It took a lot of talking to convince Ty that Retro Day didn't necessarily mean G had to dress in 50's or 60's like he and S3 did. She went as a flapper. S3 said they practically had the cast of Grease in his 7th grade class. He wore a leather jacket over his "costume."

School Pictures, Part Deux

Since all the other kids had a portrait done at school and E did not, I took her to Sears. Why I went to Sears I don't know. It's not that they're unfriendly but I usually prefer the Picture People. They tend to take more natural pictures which I guess I prefer but in this case I wanted E's picture to match the other three kids' school shot. My only real complaint is that I wanted a bright background like the others had (remember G's hot pink?) and the photographer put her on blue. Why didn't I say anything? I don't know. I hate to rock the boat even with little things like this but I was kicking myself the minute we walked out of the studio. Anyway, the picture we bought came out really cute and will match well enough with the others.


Here are the rest that we didn't purchase - not because they aren't wonderful but because I think the kids might wonder if I had pictures of the baby all over the place and none of the rest of the gang LOL!


























































And here is S3's retake. It's much, much better and we got them back just in time!

Christmas Concert 2006

G, Ty and S3 had their school concert on Friday. I tried to pick their three best songs and keep the clips under 20 seconds each. Here's the highlights video:

School Pictures

They started using these fancy colored backgrounds sometime around when S3 was in second grade. I think they got a new photographer in this year because these are the most colored backgrounds I've ever seen. Yikes!

S3 chose the plain grey backdrop but he wants to do retakes. His hair was wet so it looks greasy and he's got a little bit of a zombie look on his face. It's not bad but I don't blame him for wanting retakes.



Ty's came out pretty well.



G's made me burst out laughing when I saw it. That's the last time I let the kids pick their own backdrop. Could this picture be any brighter? I think I need sunglasses. Good thing she looks cute. It could have been really bad.

He Might Be Bored but He's Not Boring.

So Friday I had something to do right after school and I told the kids I'd pick them up. "Do not ride the bus," I said. E and I ran some errands and then went over to the school to do the pick-up thing. Ty got in the car and shortly after that G ran over and jumped in. But no S3. The busses all pulled away and still no S3. I really thought maybe he was still in the building so I had Ty jump out and go ask the principal if he'd seen S3 and he said no.

I had worked Thursday into Friday and the kids go to school before I get home from work so I started thinking maybe Steve had given him permission to go home with his friend but of course there's very little signal out at the school and when I did manage to get a call through, Steve was in meetings as usual. Finally around 3:30 I started to get so worried I called my dad and asked him to go get Steve out of the meeting. For the next ten minutes Steve tried to call my cell but since there's very little signal, my phone never rang. Really I didn't believe he'd gone with his friend because they'd have had to walk past my car and I would have seen him.

My brain was going to the worst case scenario, you know? I thought about how lousy the security is at that school and how easily he could have been taken. And then I couldn't remember if I'd ever filled out the emergency contact form they've been after me to do since September. I had slept that morning; if he'd been taken to the hospital and the phone rang I might not have heard it. I was in full panic mode at that point so I wasn't thinking that I'd spoken to the principal and if he'd been taken to the hospital surely the principal would have said something at that point.

Finally I decided to try to call Steve again and this time we managed to connect. He told me S3 didn't have permission to go home with his friend but before I started calling the police I should check and see if he got on the bus. OMGosh I never even thought about that possibility. Luckily for me we had a lot of trouble with the bus years ago when S3 first started going to the private school so I've had the head bus guy's phone number stored on my cell phone ever since and I called him. He radioed the bus and sure enough that's where my child had gotten himself.

I bawled. I mean I sobbed and boo-hoo'd the whole way home. I'm not sure how we got home in one piece. Finally I settled down about a block from the house and when we pulled up, S3 opened the door and started to apologize (thinking that he was going to be in some serious trouble) and I just burst into tears again. Poor kid, I must have squeezed the life out of him all the while dripping tears everywhere.

Honestly, I didn't even realize I was that upset until I knew he was safe. Sheesh.